Dream Sequence
by quadruped
Summary: A short romancehumor fic featuring two characters that I don't think have ever been done before.


Disclaimer: I do not own X-men: Evolution.

Time line: This takes place Pre-Cauldron, when Mystique is still living with the Brotherhood boys.

Mystique flew in through the open window in her room, hearing loud crashes and shouts coming from downstairs as soon as she entered. She changed back into her human form before letting out an angry sigh and heading to the stairs to get the boys to shut the hell up.

Just as she reached the top of the stairs the sounds stopped, and she let her vocal cords take a break from more angry yelling.

Knowing that no sound is a bad sound in the brotherhood house, she walked down the stairs quietly, preparing to catch the psychotic young mutants in the act of whatever they were doing.

Mystique reached the bottom and noticed several cans of soda rolling around empty on the ground floor. Picking one up she examined it. _"Giga-Jolt Cola! 100 percent more caffeine in every can!!!"_ Why the hell did they even have something like that? If Toad or Pietro ever got into it...

She noticed the kitchen had new burns above the stove. A fire extinguisher on the table showed that Lance was still in the house, instead of sneaking out against her orders like he usually did.

Ignoring the silly string and crayon writing on the wall she walked over to the living room where she found the barbaric males she was forced to live with.

Facing away from the doorway she stood in, Lance had both Todd and Pietro in a headlock, and desperately struggled against them. The sudden absence of shouts and crashes was because he had managed to hold them both down and stop them from causing more chaos.

"Now listen." The older mutant said breathlessly in a dangerous voice. "Both of you are going to clean up this mess and then get ready for bed. Before Mystique gets back. Understand?"

The two other mutants both struggled to break free from his killer headlock, but gave up after a few moments when they realized it was hopeless.

"Understand?" He repeated dangerously. The others slumped their shoulders in defeat and nodded. "Good." They all got up, but when they turned back to the doorway Mystique wasn't there, instead having climbed the stairs rapidly and retreating to her own room.

It was good to have the night off every now and then.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The shape shifting mutant pulled up to the brotherhood house after a long night of conferences with stupid parents who couldn't believe their child was anything other than a perfect angel.

She walked into the house to find it a disaster. Lance was near the stairs banging his head against the wall. He looked over to her, gave a casual greeting, and went back to banging his head.

There was a hole in the kitchen floor, the stairs had soapy water running down them, there were pizzas stuck to the ceiling, milkshakes spilled onto the carpet, and Toad's slime everywhere.

"YOU IDIOTS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE?!"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"A thousand bottles of beer on the wall, a thousand bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, Nine-" The three other mutants singing were cut off by Lance, who had beaten Mystique to yelling at them by a split-second.

"SHUT UP! If I hear anymore stupid songs or stupid noises or if one of you so much as touches another, I'm going to come back there, throw you out of the car, and drag you behind us the rest of the way!" He was red in the face by the time he was through, and Mystique wondered if she looked like he did when she yelled at them all.

She decided it didn't matter and let Lance essentially be her proxy for getting the other idiots to shut up as she continued driving.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Fred! I told you not to eat that! Damn it, someone call poison control."

"Toad no wait-" His words were cut off by an explosion.

"Calm down Pietro. See, we're all cool here. We're calm. Now let's all just relax, and...GOTCHA!" Lance grabbed the speedster that was hopped up on a few _pots_ of coffee.

"Toad! You lit the stairs on fire!"

"Dammit Fred I told you alligators can't eat salads!"

"You did WHAT?!"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Time stopped. Todd and Pietro froze where they were, aware of the danger they were in. Nobody moved as Lance walked down slowly from the stairs, staring at the object in their hands.

"My guitar."

Pietro had ten thousand different excuses running through his brain, and was trying to come up with a solid escape plan to hide from Lance for the next ten years or so. Todd was equally minded, except that his escape plan involved a lot more jumping.

"You two broke my guitar!" He looked up at the two youngest members of the brotherhood. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Two days later Mystique gave him a new one.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"John Wayne!"

"Clint Eastwood!"

"John Wayne!"

"CLINT!"

"JOHN!"

Mystique and Lance gave each other a sympathetic look of long suffering as they continued to endure the argument that had sprung up in the movie store.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Lance Alvers please come to my office immediately." The PA buzzed once and then went silent.

Lance sighed and left class to see what Darkholme wanted.

"Would you care to explain why there is a flock of birds flying around in my cafeteria?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"No, but I probably should anyway."

"Because the alternative was a horde of mutated giant blind rats."

He escaped the office when she tried to prepare for an incoming migraine.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The house was silent. Ordinarily that would be a bad thing, but tonight at least, it meant peace. The guardian of the boys was sick from an aggravating adventure that took place when Toad had found what he believed to be a magic coin. Lance had taken the brotherhood out into the town instead of letting them bother the ill shape shifter. She knew she'd hear about it the next day, and probably have to talk to a few lawyers, but tonight at least, she could relax. As she slowly sank down into the hot waters of a her private bathtub she made a mental note to thank the unstable earth shaker.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Feeling any better?" She asked, trying to appear interested solely as a commander in charge of troops, instead of as a person caring for someone.

"No." A muffled voice escaped from underneath his covers.

"I made you some soup and brought you a glass of orange juice."

"Thanks."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"My jeep." The words drifted out of his mouth unbidden. Said jeep was soaking wet and covered in mud and algae. As he watched a snake slithered out from under the hood.

Mystique caught the other brotherhood members as they were packing for Mexico.

"Grounded. Now. All of you for a month." They weighed their options and continued packing. "And I'll stop Avalanche from killing you," Mystique added. They stopped packing and went to their rooms, barricading their doors behind them.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"What were my choices?"

"The seal or a troop of Chinese acrobats."

"Get out."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Mystique left her room silently. She had drugged the younger boys and silently maneuvered down the hallway to Lance's room. The door didn't make a sound as she entered, thanks to her oiling it earlier that day.

Once inside the room she silently shut the door and locked it. She made her way over to his bed. A light touch woke him up and he looked surprised to see her so close to him in the dark.

She moved her face next to his, whispering lightly. "I never did get a chance to thank you."

Her lips pressed up against his lightly, until she felt his push back.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lance woke up and looked around. It had just been a dream. No, not a dream. A nightmare. A horrible nightmare. He tried to calm down when he saw someone standing next to his bed. He slowly looked upwards.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"What's up with him yo?" Todd asked, pointing at a catatonic Lance who lay on the couch.

"Yeah, sheesh. Some of us need our beauty sleep. What made him yell like that?" Pietro inquired, rubbing his eyes.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Asked Fred.

"I don't know. I heard him yell out and when I went into his room he looked over at me and did this." Mystique said, poking the still form of Lance on his arm. The brown haired mutant simply lay there, staring at the ceiling and occasionally muttering.

"Must have been some nightmare." Todd commented.

"Either that or this is what happens when you wake up and the first thing you see is Mystique. OW!" Pietro rubbed the back of his head where he had been slapped.

"Whatever. Just go back to bed. If he's still like this in the morning we'll call a doctor or something." Mystique ordered.

The other mutants went back up the stairs, turning out the light as they went. Mystique turned back to the prone form of Lance.

"There, there. Did you have a bad dream?" She cooed softly. "You can just lay back and let Mystique take care of you now." She finished with a smile.


End file.
